Just thinking

Christmas is a cool time. Both the literal meaning and the cool meaning as in class. It's a time for happiness and sadness, and an evaluation of life and a looking forward to great shopping deals. It also happens every winter. Winter is good because you tend to get snow when it's very cold. Snow is made up of tiny crystal flakes with beautiful patterns. You can also get crystal glass. Glass is fantastic. Windows are made out of glass, they provide a barrier to the elements but while also letting light through. Light travels very fast indeed, the light you see from stars can sometimes be millions of years old. There is a constant time throughout the entire universe, but if you focus on light from old stars you can get confused. Time also has a start and end, just like this blog.

Hootenanny

Went to my brothers last night. He was having a party with Alison's parents and aunties and uncles. Me, my brother Carl and Wendy and Steve went. Wendy is my Mother. Steve is her husband, no relation to me. It was a little boring to begin with, but after a few bottles things started to warm up. We played a game of "Buzz" on the playstation. That was class. It's a music quiz game. Carl was gutted because I totally thrashed him like.

It's a small world

We were chatting about driving and that Carl has just sent away for his provisional licence. I was asked who my instructor was. I told them it was "Peter Rocks". Alisons dad said he was his mate. And also that he was coming round later on. It is a small world like.

I want to teach the world to sing

It wasn't long before Trevor, Alisons dad got the professional Karaoke equipment set up. He borrowed it off his mate. It sounded allright like. I said I would sing "It's not unusual". A Karaoke classic. I don't think they thought I could sing. We all sang loads of songs. My favorite was "Gay Bar". I don't think the older folk had heard of it and it raised a few eyebrows and handbags. I sang allsorts. The other favorite was "Delilah". Thats quite an easy song to follow. Later on I was like Dean Martin, my tuxedo jacket was open, my bow tie undone, and forehead beaded with sweat. Still, the show had to go on.

Christmas day part deux

Went to my uncle David's on Christmas day. The lunch we had was one of the best I've ever had. Everything was cooked to perfection. The wine and Champagne flowed as if from Dionysus himself. Granda got himself in another right two and eight and had to be carried to bed. He sure can drink. I myself decided on a course of moderation. I don't think I had quite recovered from the disappointment of Santa Claus.

Just who owns your body?

My Grandmother is constantly "worried" about me, as are a lot of parents and grandparents over their children. To me this is not really straight thinking.Which got me to do some more thinking. Just who owns your body? Of course the initial reaction is "me!". But do you? Where did you get the body from? Do they have a say in it? You sell your body and time to an employer, and during that time if your body does anything wrong then it is faced with the threat of it losing some of its posetions. At anytime the men in uniforms can put that body away in a cage if they think it isn't behaving properly. Then you have the government, they tell your body what it can and cant do, and this and that. If you go into hospital they mostly concentrate on the body, treating it as an injured machine. Yes, just who owns your body? And if you are at a position of ownership over a body, then what are you?

The Magic of Christmas Day

As the clock struck 8:30 my eyes opened to behold a wonderful Christmas morn. Excitement welled inside providing an irresistible impetus to jump out of bed. I clambered down stairs like a man who was about to blow heading for the toilet. I anxiously yet excitedly turned the door knob and tremulously began to push. What would I see, what miracles were performed during this sacred night? The door began to drift open as I let the handle go leaving a panoramic view of the sitting room. F*ck all. Nowt. Well, just a mess really. What a b*stard. Santa never came YET AGAIN! How much of a "good boy" do you have to be? I've been trying hard but it's obviously getting nowhere. I'm going to have to write yet another letter. I'm sick of this like.

Staff Night Oot

Had a cool day at work yesterday. We had a liquid lunch at the local pub. I had two pints of Guinness so was in a dazed and confused state most of the afternoon.

It was the works' night out as well. After finishing at five we headed along to the Millstone Inn. I think that might have been because there was a bar tab there. People’s estimation of the pub grew exponentially, as did mine. We had a good ole chin wag, people were jolly, warm hues and animated sounds filled the pub adding to the Christmas atmosphere. The lads are really cool like. Work wise they have definite things that they want to do, a vision of what they want to accomplish. I like that. After three pints I think it was we all got taxis into the toon. We met up in Centurion. One of Jeff's Mates was there - he does a fantastic "horn" sound that Bo Selecta does, it really is class. I will have to practice it. The neighbours will probably thing there is a clown living next door to them. I wouldn't be a clown as people know, I think it would be degrading. We stayed in Centurion for a while, I was getting more and more plastered by then. You may or may not know I'm not a big drinker. After there we all went along to the Lodge. Most of us were well jolly by then. It's actually a good way to get to know fellow workers like. I suppose it's like a sauna in the fact that you are all in a wooden box with very little clothes on and that there are no uniforms, no categories of dress, no labels, just bodies all the same. Anyway, I digress again. I like the design group people. Really talented people like, a hub of creativity - granted there are a lot of pictures of lawnmowers which is hard to knock one off over. Had a cool night like. We started leaving about 11:30, I was pretty wasted so I decided to go home. I was starving. I didn't want any fast food, that’s the type of stuff at that time which isn't palatable to even the most voracious hound - only someone with beer buds can eat that stuff.

I thought I would get an Indians delivered when I got back. Bad idea. It was too late. All of them had closed. Fook. I didn't have much food in, so decided to have some rice. I put a pan on and had a lie down on the sofa. I was rudely awakened by an intensely piercing high pitched noise and an acrid bitter smokey smell. Yeah, you got it, pan nearly caught fire. The fire alarm was really loud. I couldn't switch it off despite trying to claw the plastic case off while half asleep and still very drunk. I opened all the windows but still to no avail. I went to bed and tried putting a pillow over my ears but still the sound penetrated my eardrums. I opened yet more windows, which after a while did the trick.

I woke up absolutely starving, and a little worse for ware. My poop was a bit clarty, that was defiantly the Guinness. I had nowt to eat since yesterday lunchtime. I went to my grans who fortunately enough had made some soup. It was very nice indeed. I made plans to meet Markie Mark at luckies as he and Angus were just on their lunch because they were not allowed to leave like most of other people at the Uni. We had a good laugh. We got back to their office and after a while one of the bosses came in and said "only one person needs to stay behind, the rest can go". Immediately I said "see you later Dave". We left there and met up with the Uni helpline people. Some good people there like. Chippas and John are class like. We headed back to Luckies. Had a good laugh. Turns out that my Blog is quite popular among people. Like I've said before, I write this for me. If other people read it then fine. Some people have misinterpreted what I've said sometimes - nothing personal meant really. Well, I like everyone apart from one person really. No names mentioned to protect the guilty. Well, I'm not holding onto any grudges - a turd is a turd, doesn't mean you walk around with a hatred for turds even though they are not very nice.

After Luckies we went to what used to be Hucksters. That was a canny bar like. After there we went to Popolos. Some nice ladies in there like. I like that bar, pretty cool. We only stayed in there for a little while then we all left. I went to Windows and bought a guitar tuner and a Melodica for my brothers Cristmas present. Its class like - I might get one. I also had an idea for a play/operetta. I'll work on that.

The other day I misinterpreted the council’s letter. Well, that’s not exactly true - they just didn't word their letter in a grammatically correct manner. Anyway, things are resolved in that area. I’m definitely on an upward trend now like. Had a tough month I suppose - but that hasn't phased me at all. No matter what life can throw at me doesn't stop me from being fookin mint.

Another day on planet Earth

Had another alright day at work. Been quite busy on a couple of Flash projects. I think they will be signed off now - I hope! It's like a lot of things, you get 80% of the work done in 20% if the time, and finish off the 20% of the work in 80% of the time. I'm right 80% of 20% of the time.

Had Christmas lunch today at the Millstone Inn. Eeewwww, it was awful. £8 for two courses (not courses of antibiotics, well, yet). Starter was ok I guess, a few prawns with Marie Rose sauce on. Main course was pretty dire. I had Turkey, it was like the sliced cold cut turkey you get from the butchers and then warmed up in a microwave. There was 2 roast potatoes, the frozen ones you get from Iceland. And the mash was smash mash. Never mind, I had a pint of Guinness anyway.

The afternoon went over quite fast. One of the bosses came round with a bottle of Champagne for everyone as well. MINT. Quite a good brand as well.

Got home and found a brown shape on the doormat. It wasn't a poop, well, not literally. It was a letter from the Council. Poop. Turns out that they reckon I'm in rent arrears. Well I am a little bit because they put the rents up and I didn't modify my direct debit. Anyway, I don't really understand the Councils logic (logic? Council?). If you owe money over Christmas, you don't get the 2 weeks free rent. Now, is this some sort of punishment the council use to make themselves feel powerful? Probably. Oh, me and the Council go back a long time. Not only did they once tell me that someone was going to come round and fix something in the house one day, so I waited in ALL day only to find out that they had the incorrect address and the workman went to next door instead. I had to take ANOTHER days holiday the next time. Also, I put a complaint in about a Manager, and guess where the complained was sent to to get handled? Yes, you got it, the Manager I complained about! I think the council are really intelligent, well managed and with a heart of gold. Such a benevolent and humanitarian organisation as that should be a model to all.

I'm not bitter. Well, much. Well, I am. In fact I'm pretty pissed. Never mind pissed I'm well FUCKED OFF! AARRGGHH!!!. And relax. AAARRRGGHHH!!!! It does make me think that only the cunts get on in this life. I have often thought of being a cunt. Cunt stands for "Conceited Uninhibited Nasty Twat". I should write a guide to being a cunt. Robson's guide to being a CUNT. If you follow that guide you will get everything you desire. You can shag all the women you like, after they pay for the night out and your/her taxi home. You will make "friends" with high ranking workers - even though you have no work skills because you don't need them. They will get you a job that at least pays in the 30K region - at least. And you won't have to lift a finger. You will pretend to be nice to parents, grand parents, and old people in general so that they include you in their Wills. You will get lots of property this way and you can begin to be a cunt of a landlord. Hey, wouldn't it be good to be a cunt? I think I will start selling T-Shirts that say "I want to be a CUNT" or "I (then a black heart) CUNT". AARRGGHHHH.

Bus Bitch and Bellyache

I detest public transport. I really do. Is it really difficult to drive a vehicle from A to B on time? I was late for work this morning. The bus was FIFTEEN minutes late. Well, in fact it was at least that because I got another bus instead. Busses stink, and most of the people who get on them stink. Aye, even I stink sometimes. Like when I've been to the gym and smell like a "proper bloke". Thats a man smell though, not a piss smell. It's not a stale man smell though, which is just as bad as a stale lady smell. I dont even want to mention fishy smells or smells of cheese. Those smells are just wrong. Anyway, back to the real story. How can you protest at such a poor service? I was thinking about telling the bus driver that "I refuse to pay because I am late for work". But I just paid my usual fair and felt a little disgruntled for a while.

Let's do Lunch

I'm back to my jovial self now. Just had a tuna salad box. It was actually quite filling. If you think about it, the salad is mainly composed of water. Well, so are human bodies if you wanna really think about it. Anyway, my hunger has been assuaged so job done.

Monday Monday

Mondays are strange. The weekend seems to go over far too swiftly for my liking. Life is too short and so am I. I need to start making better use of time really. If you don't become cause over it you are an effect of it. I have been learning to play the Guitar though, thats coming on well. I was playing before and got well into it, for a short time I got a feeling of passion with it, an intense burst of energy. I could really get into making music like. I want to get a music keyboard. I might get one for over the Christmas. I will keep my fingers off my other organ that I use far too much. I dont get much of a tune off that one but it does make me feel better afterwards. I'd love to take singing lessons as well. I'm not really that shy anymore, so the thought of singing in front of another doesn't really phase me that much. I seem to be a bit "nasal" as well, that doesn't make my voice sound good. I wonder if it's because of living "up north". It's relatively cold and Newcastle, where I live, is close to Middlesborough. Thats where industrial polution was invented. The people who invented it started a franchise which I believe is doing well. Anyway, I don't think the environment is conducive to optimum health. I also shall start writing more stuff - I think I'll write a poetry on the way to work. I'll post whatever I write.

I'm listening to Interpol at the moment. I really love that band. Such a good sound. I think they're from New York.

Andrea started chatting to me today over MSN Messenger. Shes been poorly latey so I said I would give her a "big shout out" on my Blog. She had an operation in the abdominal area. I can empathise with her there. I hope she has a swift recovery. She'll be painting the town red again in no time and making up for lost time with the fellas - they wont know what hit them. I think she will use her old MSN sign in name as a chat up line. She'll say "Lads, do you want to see my gash?"

I heard the web team (where I used to "work") have been having problems. Thats bad luck. They're not a bad bunch. I'm sure the man at the helm will lead them out of the minefield. Well, when I say man at the helm I mean Lawrence. I like Lawrence, he knows his shit like, definately. He used to manage the webteam, well, the CMS. If you want anything sorted get Lawrence on the case.

I'm still waiting for that "million dollar idea" to come to me. That is the idea for some sort of web based money making activity. You know, like that million dollar homepage thing. Well, I'm sure something will hit me - it will probably be Andrea when she reads what I've wrote!

Class night out

Aaahh, just got in from a CLASS night out. Bit of a ambiguous title that, as it was a Wing Chun class night out, and it was also a CLASS night out - as in really good. Yeah, it could also be described as MINT. I met the lads at Tilly's. Had a pint of guinness. There was only seven of us out like, but it was great. I know I say it a lot, but I love all my mates. The lads are great. We had a Chinese on Stowel street, which was very nice indeed. After a crispy duck starter we had a plethora of delicacies for main course. Top quality. We had a really good time. It's good to have a night out because you get to know each other better. There is a really good feeling, sort of common feeling between us. I mean its obvious because we all share a love of Wing Chun, but there is something else there. NOT A GAY THING. Anyway, it we were in stitches most of the time. A couple of the lads are actually trained actors, one is a Doctor, one is a lecturer at Newcastle Uni, one is a manager in the AA, and one is a professional musician. And there is me of course. After the Chinese we went to the head of steam. It was really good in there. After half an hour or so a nice lass that was sitting next to me started chatting. She was gorgeous, a bit too young though. We had a nice chin wag for a while. Her two mates were really nice as well. Alex put an end to that though after I invited them to come along to the class. Enough said! Anyway, it's late and I'm drunk. I'm listening to LA Woman by the Doors. I usually sing along to it during the day, can't really do it at night.

One man and his Blog

This week at work has been pretty good. I've had lots to do and as a result morale is high. I've done a screensaver for Procter and Gamble, and a Flash mailshot for Flymo. Pretty good stuff. It's good to get into multimedia again. It's good to get good feedback from the managers as well, especially when they know what they're talking about and have vision. It validates ones effort.

I met Markie Mark for drinks after work on Wednesday and Friday. He's a good mate. When times are hard you find out who your true mates are. Markie Mark is one of them. Paul Jones, a Built Environment one is another. Great lads. I've got loads of cool mates, people I can trust. Friday was pretty cool, we went to the VC's party at the Uni. I had two glasses of wine for nowt. I might gatecrash any other parties they have. I like the University, there are some really cool people there - there's a few knackers as well though, I suppose it's a Ying Yang thing.

After the Uni we went to the Bacchus for a couple. Was pretty jam packed to say the least. I sometimes like busy bars because you can cop a sly feel of a girls breast with your elbow. That sounds pervy doesn't it? Well I'm only joking, I don't do that thing really. Oh, actually we went to the Bacchus after we went to bar 42. That was pretty busy as well. We then went on to Poppolos for a couple. I like that place. Pretty cool. They play cool music, they even had Nouvelle Vague playing. Clare came in at 8:30 as well with her friends. They had booked a meal upstairs for 8:30 so they didn't stay down with us for very long. Markie Mark left around 9:30 so I went up into the restaurant to chat to the lasses. I think I left about 10:30 because I was pretty tired. She never told me but it was her birthday last week. I gave her a birthday kiss and said goodbye.

It was a cold dark night. Well, it wasn't that dark but it certainly very cold. I was tired, but I was a little bit tipsy and bored so I had a stroll along to FYEO to see my mate Andrew. Well, it was on the way home, ahem. It had been a while since I had seen Andrew so I thought I'd say hello. I didn't go upstairs for a dance or anything. I was tempted however because Paige was on. I resisted temptation. The lads got a curry delivered and I had some, was well nice. That warmed me up enough to venture out into the cold for the long walk home.

My financial situation hasn't been as bad as what I was expecting. I ended up coming out with the same amount before I got the raise at the Uni. So that was OK. The Uni staff also got £100 worth of Fenwicks vouchers, so I missed out on that. However, for every negative there is a positive, because the same day I found that out I got an email from a friend asking me to take over a website and to do a PDF newsletter. This more than matches the vouchers. I'm not money oriented at all, however there are things that I need to do and these cost money. It's all part of the game though.

Absent Father Christmas

Today has been an alright day. Got cracking updating a website. It was built using tables to format the layout - what a nightmare. CSS and Valid XHTML is far far easier, once you get to grips with it. Started doing some ASP stuff as well, just getting back into it as I haven't used it in a while. Started playing around with database stuff as well.

The lads at work are well canny like. They are easygoing and have a really good sense of humour. But stuff that, they are really good at making tea!

I'm still feeling weak and have some abdominal pain, still on the mend and round the bend. The past couple of nights I haven't had much sleep. My mind was racing last night when I was in bed. The operation has knocked my body and mind. I feel like I've come down tone a lot. Tone refers to the emotional tone scale. I need to get back up again.

I'm bored bored borededy bored bored. Aye, I know I say it every year, but this year WILL be different. I always say that I'm going to "go away for Christmas", but I never do. Purely financial reasons. Well not really, purely not organising and planning, among other things. Anyway, I'm sure I'll feel a lot better after masturbating.

Baahhh Humbug

Well it's supposed to be the season to be jolly, well it is I suppose because I'm jolly well pissed off. Due to my apendicitis it looks like I won't receive any money for that week. Well, that is the way things are I guess. I'm obviously pissed off, but not pissed off at anyone in particular. Well, wouldn't it be rather insane if I was happy about the whole situation? What I have now learned is that in order to get on in life you have to do what you want. That doesn't mean treat other people like shit obviously, but one really has to take responsibility for ones own destiny.

I had the opportunity a few months ago to work as a consultant for £25 per hour. I didn't take it because they wanted me to start work the very next day. I didn't start because I thought it best not to leave my employer without due notice. What a mistake I am thinking now. That employer also wouldn't allow me to work part time when I wanted to do an MA in Video production. Anyway, at least I treat people the way I expect to be treated myself. That is also a very interesting statement when one analyses it. If that was the case, if I acted like a complete bastard would I expect people to clamp down on me for my own good? It always works both ways. I tend not to kick up a fuss when people are not really ethical. Which is very bad really. I tend to bottle things up. I think thats one of the reasons I had an appendicitis, bottling things up inside and letting them fester. This is very irresponsible really, as it is a tacit consent. If you're not against it, you agree with it. This being said, there are things a few things I could say about individuals which could cause a lot of trouble. Some pretty dodgy stuff. But stirring is quite low. I hate to see injustice though.

Anyway, once again, onwards and upwards. Just riding out one of lifes vissisitudes. There is a mountain far far away that I'm heading towards. I'm just impatient and want to be there NOW!

Solitude

I've been feeling better physically during the past few days. I've been in the house for what seems to be a very long time. It isn't a good feeling really. That's why being unemployed drives people nuts. There haven't been any games as such - no targets, not much activity, no aims and therefore achievements. I have felt quite alone. I've seen a couple of mates, and people have called on the telephone, but it's not the same as having a companion. I think I'm too much of a thinker, I have this idea of a perfect partner that probably doesn't exist. It reminds me of my favorite poem:

The Young Man in April

In the queer light, in twilight,
In April of the year,
I meet a thousand women,
But I never meet my Dear.
Yet each of them has something,
A turn of neck or knee,
A line of breast or shoulder,
That brings my Dear to me.

One has a way of swaying,
I'd swear to anywhere;
One has a laugh, and one a hat,
And one a trick of hair;
-Oh, glints and hints and gestures,
When shall I find complete
The Dear that's walking somewhere,
The Dear I've yet to meet?

Rupert Brooke, May 1913

I hope I don't meet a girl called April, but whats the chances of that. Anyway, I love that poem. It's almost like I covet the feeling of loneliness really. I think it's got to do with the idea that things are either abundant or scarce. If you're in love with a girl, and she is the "only one", then you will hold on to all those feelings even though they drive you crazy. I can let go now. There are something like 5 Billion people on earth, and only one of them is right for you? Hhmmm.

Forever change

Ah, time enough has passed for me to reflect on the past day and a half. I feel rather relaxed with time, the Universe, and everything. I just finished watching the latest Harry Potter movie on DVD, but don't tell anyone. It was a good film but wasted because of the poor quality. I hate watching pirate films - they ruin the whole feeling of the film. I have to agree with Movie companies on that one.

I had been to my mate Keith's house today, helping install windows XP and other software. It went swimmingly. We had been to the town, wandering, seeing the sights, and having jovial time of things. The first destination was Boskoops, a cafe that does a real good breakfast. I had a dirty fork which I did not like. Breakfast was good however. We had a casual stroll down from my house to the town. We noticed a few greacy food vans on the way down, a sure indication that it was a match day. I do dislike match days. We had a jolly good laugh at my house though. We started talking about the "George Formby food grill". I think that is a good idea for a webpage, with the "It's turned out nice again!" tagline attached to the product. For some reason we started making up strange names for pubs. The "Shuvit Inn" was my favorite. The intercom buzzer went at 10am. I picked up the handset and said hello. A stern voice replied "Police, open up". I felt rather irate at the attitude of the voice. Obviously it was Keith.

I felt slightly sore this morning when I woke. I surprisingly woke around 9am. I say surprisingly because I went to bed at 2am last night - or rather this morning. I couldn't get to sleep. I had quite a lot of energy. Was messing around on the PC. I got in around 10:30pm last night after the web team Christmas meal. It was a strange night. There was a peculiar atmosphere from start to finish. I wasn't my "enthusiastic" self obviously, as I am really still convalescing. I was disappointed that Chris and Tracey couldn't attend as Cole was poorly. I think it would have been a lot better if they had have been there.

Markie Mark was quite funny last night. I loved his crack about management, about the fact that you don't need a manager in the mens toilet to tell people to have a piss. Very good. It was said in front of Nigel as well, I don't think he quite got it. The meal we had was very nice, it was at Hanahana's, a Japanese restaurant. It was quite expensive, but what the hey. One thing I don't like is dividing the drinks bill between everyone. I only had a small Coke and a tiny bottle of sparkling mineral water and paid £7. Some people always drink a lot of wine. I wasn't too bothered as it is probably the last time that it will happen.

There wasn't really a good start to the night as I had inadvertantly scratched one of my scabs off. Owch. It has left quite a crater. Looks worse than it is. Also been feeling a little tired and a smarting in certain areas of my intestines. I had one pint of Guinness and one pint of lager all night. I have been off the painkillers for a few days now. I think they were doing more harm than good really. Things in life are becoming more clearer for me now. It's hard to describe. Don't get me wrong, I'm far far from my potential, however I feel like old baggage I have been carying around with me for a very long time are dropping away, leaving me more aware. There is still a long way to go to get to the place where I began, if you know what I mean.

Poetry

I've always been interested in poetry. I've been writing bits and pieces for years. Most of it I have thrown away or even burned. I've written a few poems and various lines of thoughts. I do it for me really. I don't really feel comfortable showing people - which actually doesn't make sense. I spoke to a real bona fide poet once and asked him "so how do you write a poem?" He answered perfectly. He said that he begins with an idea, and he works at crafting the idea with words so that they convey that idea immaculatey to the reader/listener. Perfect. Really, a poem is a high level and refined communication, which ideally should have in the recipient the exact same idea and emotion as the originator had when writing. That is what communication is really - cause, distance, effect - with the same idea duplicated from the originator of the communication to the recipient. I think I've just convinced myself to add some stuff here. I've already added the Goldfrapp one. I had to really. She is fantastic.

Goldfrapp

I had to write something about Alison Goldfrapp. Her voice takes me to another place altogether. She really is amazing.
The voice of an angel echoed through my soul
Incomprehensible beauty continues to enthral
The feelings in my heart my mind could not convey
The rapture in my head, the words just fall away

When I saw your face I knew it was true
A voice of such beauty must come from the blue
Emotions and feelings, your voice makes me cry
The world becomes enchanting, your beauty is why

Your radiance touches like a lover’s kiss
Like golden sunlight shining into bliss
Your light shines through the darkened world
Illuminating, dazzling, for all to behold

I can’t help but realise the beauty that’s you
Glittering, sparkling, amazing and true
Over the airwaves and via the wire
Every moment you sing your beauty inspires

You are amazing, truly amazing
You are the closest thing to magic

The prodigal son

I decided to go and meet Markie Mark at Luckies during lunch. On the way I took some Museli over the park to feed the wild fowl. A rustling of the bag announced to them the fact that food was to be had so the various coveys aggregated into one swarming food fest. That made me feel good. I like spreading the joy.

I continued my amble through the park, destination Luckies bar. I got there around 12:30. Jon and Angus were seated next to a roaring fire. Their faces had a ruddy glow, either from the warmth or from the beer - or possibly the combination of both. I sat down and began to have a jolly good chat with them. I didn't have anything to drink, definately no alcohol for me (yet). One thing was troubling my mind however - there was no sign of Markie Mark. This was not like him. The idea that a beer monster on his lunch and not at the pub did not fit squarely in my mind. I had to text him. Then I called him. Turns out that at work they have been having real problems with their system and have resorted to calling in a consultant from the software in question's head office. Apparently the consultant had arrived just as Markie was going to go for his lunch - so the luckies plan was thwarted. Never mind, I had a back up plan.

Plan B

I decided to pop into my old place of work. First I thought I would pop "over the road" and bid farewell to those in External Relations. I went to see Dawn first. She was the only one in the office. She is a real asset to the University of Northumbria - she is literally doing four peoples jobs, and they are not easy jobs. We had a chin wag and I showed her my scars. I said they were when I was shot three times in Iraq whilst rescuing some orphans. After a valedictory wave I continued on up to the penthouse.

It nearly brought a tear to the eye

The flight of stairs leading up to the penthouse felt like I was revisiting a childhood home. An aroma of Tomato and Basil welcomed me as Nigel was busy in the kitchen. The room was abuz with activity, like one of those old black and white movies in an office where heads are beaded with sweat and sleeves were rolled up ready to crack the back of whatever problem arises. Either that or it was hot in there. I bid a hearty hello to all there and it was recipricated. There were a few faces missing however, Anne and Tracey.

I didn't know he was in, but afer a couple of minutes I heard Johns voice. "Helloo!!!" we exclaimed to each other. He was in the back room having his sandwiches. It was good to see him - it was good to see them all. I just went in to collect some things and say hello, then Nigel came in with 2 cards for me, cards that should have been given me on my leaving party. I was taken aback as I had requested that no-one should bother to get me a leaving present or anything. They did. They collected a handsome £60 in Eldon Square vouchers. I was taken aback. That is enough to buy a shirt, or some shoes, or used towards a winter coat, or even would purchase 40 chicken breasts from Fenwicks if I was so inclined to do so. Imagine the size of the mix up bag if I decided to get a £60 mix up from the sweet shop. The leaving card also touched my heart strings. So many beautiful words and sentiments. I was flattered with Sean's (the leader of External Relations) sentiment which was "Mark, you'll be a hard act to follow". I liked that a lot. I seem to have a reputation for being a "live wire". Other peoples were also cool, they are really nice people. I will endeavour to keep in touch with most of them.

I felt weary and decided to leave the guys to it. I nonchalantly slipped out, knowing I would see them again on Friday. On the way out I decided to call in to see some good friends. I spoke to Steve who was swamped by work, with more having been added to his already punished schedule. We had promised to meet on Friday for lunch instead. Like I say, I was also feeling weary.

It had been a good strech of the legs, my innards were still slightly sore, but fitness is once again returning. Onwards and upwards.

If you squeeze it, juices will come out

Came across this on ebay. The current bid is £5. It is a lemon that is shaped like a vagina.

Here are the jokes I need to make about it:

You may be able to stimulate the Citrus as well?

It may leave you with a bitter taste in the mouth.

All in all I think is is bitter and twisted really.

One in the hand is worth two on the tree.

If I think of any more I will post them. If you can think of any, add them to the comments.

Doctor Doctor ...

First real day back in the big bad world today. Had an appointment at the Docs for 2:50. Got the number 12 bus. It was quite full, looked like people had been Christmas shopping. There were a couple of vacant seats near the front - I was in two minds whether to sit on one. However, I decided to sit near the back as there would be less hassle getting up for people and soforth. Bad idea. Charvers. After having sat down for, oohh I would say three minutes, she grabbed hold of my hood and it felt like she placed something in it. After a sigh and rolling eyes I checked to see if she had put perhaps Frogmella's nappy in or perhaps one of her syringes in. Nothing, just a cheecky grab of the hood. The charvette in question was as vile as Waynetta Slob. A 40 year old looking leather faced dirt bag with red and empty eyes.

Public transport is great, its like visiting a human zoo. I suppose it takes all sorts. Fortunately they departed a few stops later.

Got to the Docs on time and unphased. The appointment was with the nurse. She looked at my wounds and said they were healing nicely. I've had some pain in my intestines the past few days, she said this was to be expected - simply a result of them having a good prod around. I know the feeling, its like when you open a drawer thats full of bits-n-bobs, you just can't resist having a look around to see if there is any cool stuff there. I bet they didn't find a pen there. I digress. The nurse said I was as fine as could be expected and bid me farewell.

The journey home was relatively uneventful. There was a beautiful sky though, a burning gold sunset.

On the mend again

Aye, definately on the mend now. I feel pretty good mentally, and spiritually I am MINT. Body needs to pull itself together though, its coming on though. Got some painkillers to take, there's one type that's pretty strong - I might stop taking that type. The very nature of painkillers is to stop feeling, so obviously it will reduce your physical awareness. That is what has been happening. My head feels sort of dull and dizzy.

Like I say, my spirits are high, its just painful when I laugh. I actually think that all of this is why we are here on planet Earth/in the Physical Universe. Just to experience things - "good" and "bad". I was thinking the other day that if all my mind had dissappeared - all the pictures, everything was just gone. I immediately felt like "NO!, they're my pictures and I can't let them go!" That was even the painful ones.

Another thing I realised when I was ill was that there is absolutely no way that a human can survive on their own. No way. People need each other. I have isolated myself from various parts of life during my time here. Rather a silly thing to do really.

Aaahh, anyway. Life is good. Thats how I want to see it.

Be careful what you wish for - it might just come true

Yeah well, it was an Appendicitis. Went into the RVI on Friday having been sent there by my Doctor. I was prodded and probed a few times (oh yeah, fingers in bottom alright), had X-Rays and Ultrasound, and then a little more prodding. Didn't get the operation till 10pm on Saturday. Things went well, the surgeon said it was pretty bad, the Appendix had caused a cyst on my bowels as well so they got rid of that. So, its all over now. Just got the recovery period to get over and thats that sorted. Better out than in.